𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗕𝗨𝗜𝗟𝗗 𝗢𝗥 𝗕𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗞 𝗔 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗔𝗚𝗘

WORDS THAT BUILD OR BREAK A MARRIAGE

A Pauline Perspective on Husband & Wife Communication

INTRODUCTION

Marriage was designed by God to function through truth spoken in love.
In this present dispensation of grace, the Apostle
Paul gives clear instruction on how husbands and wives are to speak, serve, and support one another—not by law, tradition, or emotion, but by grace and understanding.

Words reveal the heart—and they either heal or harm the home.
Ephesians 4:29 (KJV)

① LOVE — The Husband’s Foundational Language
Ephesians 5:25 (KJV)

A. Sacrificial Love – Love that gives, not demands
B. Spoken Love – Love must be expressed, not assumed
C. Steadfast Love – Love that remains even under pressure
Christ loved by action AND words—so must husbands.

② LEADERSHIP — Loving Direction, Not Domination
Ephesians 5:23 (KJV)

A. Spiritual Guidance – Leading toward Christ, not self
B. Gentle Authority – Authority clothed with humility
C. Godly Example – Leadership proven by conduct
Biblical headship is responsibility, not superiority.

③ LISTENING — Love That Learns
James 1:19 (KJV)

A. Attentive Ears – Hearing without interruption
B. Patient Spirit – Listening without defensiveness
C. Understanding Heart – Seeking meaning, not winning
Grace listens before it responds.

④ LOYALTY — A Wife’s Strengthening Speech
Titus 2:4–5 (KJV)

A. Faithful Support – Standing with, not against
B. Public Honor – Respect shown openly
C. Private Encouragement – Strength given in weakness
A wife’s words can strengthen or shatter a man.

⑤ RESPECT — The Language Men Need
Ephesians 5:33 (KJV)

A. Verbal Honor – Speaking esteem, not sarcasm
B. Trusting Tone – Words that build confidence
C. Appreciative Attitude – Gratitude instead of criticism
Love speaks sacrifice; respect speaks value.

⑥ LONGSUFFERING — Grace Under Pressure
Colossians 3:13 (KJV)

A. Forgiving Speech – Not rehearsing past faults
B. Calm Responses – Words spoken without wrath
C. Enduring Grace – Patience rooted in Christ
Grace doesn’t explode—it endures.

⑦ LABOR — Words That Affirm Effort
1 Thessalonians 5:11 (KJV)

A. Recognition – Acknowledging unseen work
B. Reassurance – Confirming value and purpose
C. Refreshment – Words that restore strength
Encouragement fuels endurance.

⑧ LOVE-IN-ACTION — More Than Romance
Colossians 3:14 (KJV)

A. Practical Love – Helping, serving, supporting
B. Consistent Love – Daily devotion, not seasonal
C. Unifying Love – Love that binds hearts together
Biblical love shows up before it speaks up.

⑨ LIVING TESTIMONY — A Marriage That Preaches
Ephesians 5:32 (KJV)

A. Gospel Picture – Marriage reflects Christ and the Church
B. Grace Witness – A testimony to believers and unbelievers
C. God’s Glory – A home that honors Christ
Your marriage is a sermon others are reading.

CALL TO ACTION

Speak grace, not grief
Build up, not break down
Let Christ rule your words
Let your speech be alway with grace — Colossians 4:6 (KJV)

CONCLUSION

Strong marriages are not built on feelings, culture, or tradition,
but on right doctrine rightly applied through grace-filled words.
What you say today shapes your marriage tomorrow.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Words reveal spiritual maturity
Love must be expressed, not assumed
Listening is a form of love
Respect strengthens leadership
Grace governs communication
Encouragement fuels perseverance
Love must act, not just speak
Marriage is a gospel testimony
Christ is the center of godly communication